The Merits of having a Mentor

I've been fortunate to have some fantastic bosses (so far) in my career; from Tim Isaac and Miles Young from Ogilvy and Sir Martin Sorrell at WPP. Learning from them has, at times, giving me the guidance of any excellent leaders of today, as well as a healthy dose of sheer terror...

However, although they've played a huge part, none of them has been a mentor to me. So I feel truly blessed that I managed to form a relationship outside of my own industry and strongly advise anyone else to go out and do the same.

I met Heather over 12 years ago at a British chamber of commerce event in Bangkok. She was and still is, the Regional Head of a UK multinational and I was a regional recruiter at a local company. I guess it was pure luck we met and she asked me a strange question; 'How am I feeling?' I was taken aback as frankly, I was having a terrible day. My little sister back in London had just been diagnosed with MS and I was having a tough time dealing with it. Fortunately for me, I was truthful in my answer and said it wasn't going plain sailing, and when I opened up she listened intently and said only a few words. To this day she still listens...

Since then, we've had a wonderful friendship and although she probably doesn't see it this way, she's been my most valuable mentor.

For the following reasons;

Plain Honesty - I think to be truly qualified to be a good mentor, one needs to meet three conditions:

1. They should not be emotionally attached to you, because otherwise, they will not be unbiased. Their emotions will interfere with their judgment.

2. They should not ask to be paid for their advice or depend on your income, otherwise they will be conditioned to tell you what you like to hear.

3. And finally, they should practice what they preach.

Heather has an abundance of all three, and there were plenty of people who readily give me advice, but only one who could overcome the impulse to tell me what they believed I wanted to hear and have enough wisdom and inner strength to tell me what I needed to hear.

Valuable experience

There are some situations when too much is at stake and guesswork is simply not an option. In this case a mentor could be the only person, who is knowledgeable and experienced enough to help you make the right decision and prepare you for the serious exam called everyday life. It is not always easy to live according to our conscience. The line that separates “right” from “wrong” and “good” from “bad” is often blurred and it can be tempting to make a convenient choice instead of the right one (especially if our heart is telling us one thing and our mind another). As a mentor, Heather's invaluable experience who, with one simple question, was able to clear my doubts and gently, but firmly push me in the right direction.

Better chances of success

Basically there are two ways to gain wisdom in life – learn from your own mistakes or learn from the mistakes of other people. The first way is more painful and more time consuming. The second one requires a mentor who will share their experience with you and help you to avoid mistakes that you would otherwise make. There is no doubt that any failure holds a valuable lesson that in the future will help you to improve your performance, but why fail more than necessary? I think there were times when I consulted with Heather and she listened to my woes and was able to steer me in the right direction based on her own experiences.

Motivation

Most of us have a pretty clear idea about what we should do to improve our health and quality of life: exercise regularly, eat less carbs and stay off the fatty foods, go to bed early and don't party too hard, but for some unknown reason we do not do any of these things. There is a huge difference between knowing something and really understanding it. We might know something for years, but one day out of nowhere it just makes sense. A good mentor has the rare ability to explain to you what you need to do and why, in a way that makes sense. That's why an encounter with a mentor often becomes a turning point in many people’s life. Heather came along at just the right time when I started thinking seriously about my career.

She listened more, she said less, and she has always been there. As my life begins a new chapter, I hope she'll be there guide me way through this maelstrom we call life.

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