Which Wolf Will You Feed?

Or, the unedited story of the two wolves

This professional campaign titled 'Dolphin, Swan, Wolf' was published in China in June, 2010. It was created for the brand: Shangri-La, by ad agency: Ogilvy almost 16 years ago.

I first wrote this piece in 2020. A client was sitting across from me, turning over a decision that would reshape the next decade of his life. He wasn't asking me what to do. He was asking me how to think about it.

That conversation brought me back to a story I'd carried for years. The Cherokee parable of the two wolves. Most people know the short version. Fewer know the real one. And I think the real one is the version that actually matters.

Six years later, I keep coming back to it. Not because I've run out of material. Because the longer I coach leaders, the more I see this story play out in real time, in real organisations, with real consequences.

The version you know

An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he says. "A fight between two wolves."

"The Dark one is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

"The Light Wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

"The same fight is going on inside you, grandson. And inside every other person on the face of this earth."

The grandson thinks about this. Then asks: "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee smiles. "The one you feed."

Clean. Simple. And not the full story.

The part most people skip

The easy takeaway is obvious. Feed the good. Starve the bad. Choose light over dark.

And it's true that feeding the Dark wolf is the path of least resistance. Procrastination, complaint, dismissal, giving up. These require almost no effort. You get the instant reward of relief without having done anything at all.

The Light wolf is harder to sustain. Learning takes time. Teaching takes patience. Staying with new behaviours when results are nowhere in sight takes something closer to faith. Vulnerability, momentum, bravery. None of it is free.

So yes, we should feed the Light wolf. Most of us know that already.

But here's where the original story takes a different turn. And where it gets interesting.

The unedited version

In the fuller Cherokee telling, the grandfather doesn't say "the one you feed." He says something else entirely.

"If you feed them right, they both win."

The story continues:

"If I only feed the Light wolf, the Dark wolf will be hiding around every corner, waiting for me to become distracted or weak, and then he'll pounce. He will always be angry. He will always fight the Light wolf."

"But if I acknowledge him, he is happy. And the Light wolf is happy. And we all win."

"The Dark wolf has qualities I need. Tenacity. Courage. Fearlessness. Strong will. Strategic thinking. These are things the Light wolf lacks."

"The Light wolf has compassion, caring, strength, and the ability to recognise what is in the best interest of all."

"The Light wolf needs the Dark wolf at his side. Feed only one and the other starves. They become uncontrollable. Feed and care for both, and they will serve you well."

"When there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance."

"Peace is the mission. A person who has peace inside has everything. A person pulled apart by the war within has nothing."

Why this version matters more

I think about this version often now. In my coaching work. In the searches I run. In the leadership conversations I sit inside.

The leaders I work with across APAC are not struggling because they can't tell light from dark. They know the right thing to do. They know what good leadership looks like. They've read the books. They've done the courses.

What trips them up is the belief that certain parts of themselves need to be eliminated. That ambition is dangerous. That anger is always destructive. That self-interest is incompatible with good leadership. That vulnerability and strength can't coexist.

In the Enneagram framework I use in my coaching practice, this is one of the most important principles. Every type has a shadow. And every shadow contains something essential. The Type 3 who drives too hard also brings discipline no one else will. The Type 8 who pushes people away also protects what matters when no one else will stand up. The Type 7 who avoids pain also brings the energy and vision that keeps a team believing in what's possible.

Starve those qualities and you don't get a better leader. You get a diminished one.

The real question

The original post I wrote ended with a simple question: which wolf have you been feeding?

I'd reframe that now.

The better question is: which wolf have you been starving? And what has that cost you?

Most of the leaders I coach don't need to feed the Light wolf more. They need to stop being afraid of the Dark one. They need to learn what it's actually telling them, rather than treating every uncomfortable impulse as a character flaw to be suppressed.

The Cherokee story doesn't ask you to become a saint. It asks you to become whole. And wholeness is harder than goodness, because it requires you to sit with the parts of yourself you'd rather not look at.

That's the real work. Not choosing the right wolf. Feeding them both, well.